9-12-2010

today was a good day i stuck really close to my calorie count for the day only when over by just a few calories! so i am really excited about that. i also did a bit of walking today me and Ryan walked down to the store and got a water and a lean cuisine for dinner! he is being so encouraging! and that really helps me alot, i changed up my workout a bit today in the last one i did abb crunches for about 15 min. and i really feel it more than the other way i was doing them with the kit. and i have a few other ideas for changing up my workout in the up coming weeks, i really want to go jump on the scale but then again i don't. i need to wait till Friday i don't want to be weighing myself everyday. all and all today was really good. just really trying to take it one day at a time and not get to far ahead of myself

9-11-2010

today was much better than yesterday!!!!! i got both of my 30min workouts intoday!!! i am back to feeling great! i am doing a bit better at counting my calories. still realy hard. considering i can just go buy all the stuff i want i have to get stuff for everyone in th ehouse and on a small bugget to boot. to the food will always be a pit of a problem for me i guess. i got some new workout stuff from my mom that she let me barrow for a litte bit. and im going to see how that works out tomarrow. im going to start weaighing myself every friday. i even got a makeup vid done today and learned some really cool stuff that im going to post in a vid tomarroe aswell. closing thoughts: all and all today was a good day!

9-10-2010

last night i was feeling so good about everything. and then this morning i got upset and over ate i was realy disapointed with myself. and then i redid my food plan for the day and i was doing good and for some reason i over ate at lunch. but i did a 8min arm workout and i have done another 10min on top of that. but i still dont feel good about my choices that i made today. i got a new scale and my starting weaight is more than i thought it was its 310, i was shocked needless to say. im gonna try to do a 30min workout today later tonight. hopefuly it will make me feel somewhat better. and ready to get back on track tomarrow.

9-9-2010

for the frist time in a long time i feel smart, confident, beautiful and like i could take on the world.

i am realy proud of myself i stuck realy close to my food plan for today. witch was 1500 calories. i worked out twice today for 30 mins each time! for the 2nt day in a row! im getting a scale tomarrow and i dont think i have ever been this excited about that in my life lol.i never thought i could do this in my life and i just feel so freaking great!!!!!! i hope it never goes away. and working out has realy helped me with my depression alot! i realy feel like i could take on the world. nothing has realy brought me down. where as usualy just about anything could. i found my shade in the mac foundation that im going to reword myself with when i loose 25 lbs. just trying to take it one day at a time!

that is my meal plan for today. so far so good and im fealing great!
and my flavored water that i drink and my diet pills

9-8-2010 part 1

i feel realy good i just finished one of my 30 minute workout and i have already did a 10min arm workout earlyer today, im a little bit disapointed with my food choices today i could have done better and i know it.i plan on doing another 30min workout before bed tonigt and i plan on starting back counting calories tomarrow aswell. all and all im feeling realy good just a little worried about the food issue. im going to drop my calorie way down to eather 1500 or 1200 not sure witch one yet. i weaghed myself last night and it was not the right number cuz the scale is messed up but its what i haveto work with untill i get a new one.

this is what im going to reward myself with when i loose 25 lbs

9-7-2010

today i start my life change, i just worked out for about 20 minuets usthing this systen i got for my birthday! this is what i workedout with today and im going to workout for another 20 later. i have given up soda except coke zero and i have a little over a pack of cigs left and when they are gone they are gone for good ano i just need to workon the food. i need to make a meal plan or something but i will keep you updated i have set myself a goul for when i loose 25 lbs and i think it will help me stay motavated !

i have always been bad with diets, i try and i do realy good for a bit and then the moment i stop i slide right back into my old habbets, i realy have to find something that realy works for me and its realy hard. sometimes i just feel like a big loser and other times i wish that one day ill wake up and be tin or that some guy will pop up and grant me 3 wishes but i know that wont happen. i am going to have to dig down deep and find it inside myself to become the woman i want to be, i know ill more than likely never be a size 2 but thats it ok with me i just want to be a healther size. and not have to worrie about what clothes i can and cant buy cuz nothing fits right or it doesent come in my size i have thought about some of the medical options out there but i can aford them and or the corrective ones you need after that. its realy up to me and me alone to do this i know its going to be hard and im gonna want to quit but i need to try my hardest. im sick of being like this and i need this